I re-did my entire running plan and made it a little easier, thinking I was being too hard on myself after having a really painful last week of struggling. I had so much anxiety about the fact that I have no idea how to run, I've never been coached, I can't pace properly. But I … Continue reading A Little Thursday Motivation
I feel so tired. From drinking all weekend long. From training for a 15k and a half marathon. From working and being on my feet, selling all day long. From worrying about money, my family, my holiday plans, my schedule. I am just tired. I feel like I could sleep forever. But I don't. I … Continue reading I Feel Tired.
I quit. It was a constant battle. It was the temptation to drink myself to sleep every night. It was the verbal fights with my mother. It was holding back tears at my desk. It was throwing up my dinner after I promised myself I stopped my ED habits. It was not talking to anyone … Continue reading I quit my job.
My first full week back in Corporate America has been a struggle. I thought yesterday was Friday! It was Tuesday. I frowned but turned it into a smile, it’s all I can do. I’ve been applying to jobs like an addict. I get phone calls but nothings really what speaks to me so I … Continue reading The “work” world is my oyster
I have never been sick, hospitalized and had a manic episode and had to return to the same place. In a sense, I've always avoided, ran away and had an excuse. I didn't have to go back to school or work. Ever. I always could just recover in my parents house and feel safe. I … Continue reading Final Countdown back to Corporate America
I'm sitting in the Berkshires at this concert with my two aunts. All of a sudden, I'm overcome with sadness. I realized, I'm obsessed with destroying myself. Right now, I'm drinking myself to sleep every night. Before this, I wasn't eating. To make things feel worse for me now, I binge drink for hours and … Continue reading Epiphany number 458193