Today was an okay day. But I still hit the bottle hard.. ate dinner and **trigger warning** brought my whole dinner back up, kneeling on my bathroom floor like a church pew. I want to stop but I can’t.
Last night, I ordered a pizza, only about 10 inches, personal size. Yet, I called my mom bawling that I ate an entire pizza alone. I even purged it. But I have such body image issues and the number on the scale has been going up this past week, making me go crazy.
After work, I went on a nice shopping spree to try and get my mind off things. I love to shop, it’s always therapeutic.
Also, I got a raise at work! but I still feel like somethings missing. I’m not in the industry I want. I’m thinking about taking graphic design classes.
Currently, I’m drinking and it’s concerning me that it’s making me not able to lose weight. Funny that that is my concern. Not my liver, not my productivity, but the pounds that I want off my body.
I can’t wait to see my mom on Sunday but I also don’t know if it’s going to go as I want it to. We’ve had really great weekends together and we’ve had weekends where I have ran away from her.
So, for tonight, I will drink my sorrows away tonight in preparation for me “Pressed Juicery” juice cleanse tomorrow. Just one day of only 7 different juices. I plan to lay out on the esplanade and sweat out the toxins. I need a detox, literally and metaphorically.
I’ve committed to start working on my resume, cover letter and hopefully apply to other jobs. I have some help, thank goodness.
I’m trying to stay positive and I want to thank everyone who reads my posts and likes them! It always makes me smile when I get the notification. Seriously, you really do make my world go round!
Happy Friday, everyone deserves a great weekend so embrace it!