I have officially been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. Another diagnoses to add to the list.
I feel weird. I have seen it coming and yet, I still feel paranoid now at every “skinny” comment I hear. Every single day. Or when co-workers comment on my food.
I don’t feel I deserve the anorexia diagnosis and I feel like I need change my eating behaviors to fit the diagnosis…I won’t go more into it.
For now, I’m trying to just compartmentalize it. I need to get on my flight and go to NYC for the weekend. I am going to try and forget about the ED for the weekend. This is a disaster, another talk for another time
My best friend from home said, “lists, labels and categories don’t mean anything. This is just a new beginning.”
So that it is. Today is a new beginning. As is every day. Every day is a new beginning!
I’m getting the help I need. I’m creating my treatment team on my own! A new city and new specialists. It’s so scary to seek out treatment but I did it, despite being all alone! And I so proud of myself for that. I have been alone. So very alone and now I am finally finding providers for my very serious mental illness, a steps towards so much (as bipolar disorder is still so new to me).
Happy Friday. And Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there! You are the best! I can’t wait to see my own dad this weekend! He’s the greatest! And I hope everyone has the best weekend!