Love ya, Mom

My relationship with my mom has always been unique.

As a child, I wanted to be her.

In middle school, I loathed her.

In high school, I acted out because I wanted her to pay attention to me.

In college, I wanted her stop trying to control me.

After college, I wanted her to realize I was hurting and help me.

And now, I just want her to be my friend and listen.

 

Right now, I’m scared I’m falling down the path leading to in-patient. I don’t deal with stress, change and anxiety like I used to. My moods have become a very slippery slope. To make matters worse, I don’t have a support network up in Boston. I am only just starting to build it.

But, even though my mom, the one who tells me sleepy-time tea may overpower seroquel. And even though, my mom is the one who says I need to eat more protein to solve my weight issue, not see a dietician or ED specialist. My mom is the one who I call at 2am, bawling my eyes out.

She’s the one I can first tell I’m scared I’m falling seriously sick again. She’s the one I tell I don’t want to go back to the hospital. She’s the one who I say “who will bring my packed bag to inpatient!? I have no friends here for that” And she tells me I won’t go back and not to worry. She tells me I’m okay. I can get back on my feet. I’m strong. I’ve been through this before, I can do it again, and I will.

I don’t know what it is about girls and their moms. I love my mom so much and she’s always there for me. I hope there are other women here, who have and hold the privileged to be in a special bond with your mother, or a mother-like figure, because it’s truly one in a gazillion. Sometimes, I don’t know what I’d do without my mom. I love you so much, mom!

 

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2 thoughts on “Love ya, Mom

  1. Yep, Mum’s truly are special. Dad’s are great, but Mum’s are the ones who you tend to have that bigger connection with, no matter the situations life puts you through. As a person with no experience of having a Dad, I can’t really compare the two! But I do know that mum’s are amazing…and really hug worthy😂 The best hugs in the world are from mums , in my opinion!

    Like

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