Ah so it’s been one week since I’ve been discharged and almost one week of my outpatient program and one week of being back on lithium. I’m so stable and it’s really boring. But I’m also still fragile and easily startled and I hate being alone. At first, I didn’t think I needed to go through this outpatient program and I could go straight up to Boston but I definitely need this transition.
This weekend, I decided I’m going to tell my roommates I’m taking a class at home for a few weeks. I was going back and forth on telling them the truth and how to tell them. But it gave me a lot of anxiety. They don’t know me that well and I don’t want them to think bad things about me, especially because who knows what they even know about having bipolar disorder. So, I feel a lot more in control about the situation. It’s not exactly a lie as outpatient is basically all “classes” about different topics.
So that’s my life, very boring and very stable. For now, it’s fine as I adjust to the lithium since it makes me so tired and weak. But, I have a hard time tolerating boredom and so soon I’ll start applying to jobs and hopefully getting my life back on track!