I’m really sick

I can’t stay in the city tonight. I broke a wine glass in the grill room. It was so embarrassing. And I got back to my room, in the shower and broke down sobbing about being so sad. I don’t even know what I’m sad about. 

I guess, I feel like it’s unfair. I didn’t do anything to deserve this disease or illness. I can’t live the life I want. 

I met with these BeautyCounter mentors and I got so excited and then I realized I may be gone for 2 weeks. We laughed and had so much fun. I really don’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve just had a fun girls night out. 

 I don’t want to go to the hospital. I don’t want to be sick. I want a normal life and I’m playing victim, for once, and it’s not fair. I’m sad. And my dad is coming to pick me up in NYC because I can’t stop crying. I can’t stay the night here alone. For once, I can’t be strong. I can’t carry myself home. 

I guess the one positive is I ate more calories today than I have the entire month. I still feel down. Tomorrow is my appointment. That’s all I have to say for now. 


5 thoughts on “I’m really sick

  1. Perhaps normality will return is you go to hospital. It is a reprieve – not having any responsibilities. It could be just the treatment you need. I also feel life is unfair. Life is an asshole in my opinion. So get angry. Don’t let Life take you down. Fight and fight dirty


  2. Stay strong…and let’s help each other 🙂 Come and see our Instagram account, we will be motivating everyday…and working together to help one another, though we are all in different positions, I think it could turn into a great resource 🙂


    Liked by 1 person

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