Confession: I watch movies with subtitles. I was diagnosed with severe ADHD before Bipolar 1, common. Anyway I’m not a big movie girl or TV show. I will watch things on netflix, hulu, HBOGO or amazon prime whatever. But it’s I’m always doing something else or just having it as background noise. I can’t go on “dates” to the movies, I will reject. Anyway there are some movies that I *watch* over and over again. If you haven’t seen “running from crazy” it’s about the Hemingway family and their history with mental illness, I strongly recommend. Summer 2015 when I was in a deep depression, I watched it multiple times a day. It made me cry, it made me feel inspired, it made me laugh, it made me feel understood.
I love silver linings playbook when I’m in the mood, but it’s also sort of bipolar in a different way. It doesn’t really explain the disease and it’s more eh. If you get what I’m saying, you get it. The series Shameless has bipolar which I love and I think it’s authentic to a sense that the public may understand. The highs and lows are there, the stigma is present and I feel a connection to the characters.
But another one is “Love and Other Drugs”. It’s with Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal. She has early early on-set parkinsons, like in her 20s, which is very sad. And my favorite part is when Anne explains that she’s going to need him more than he needs her. But he tells her how she makes him feel and that he needs that emotional fulfillment from her so it’s going to be okay. And I guess as a 23 year old, I worry everyday about being in a relationship or marrying someone because I will need someone who needs to take care of me (also in a health insurance aspect). And it’s hard for me to even admit that I have this mental illness to people. But I’m learning and I’m taking babysteps and I need to stop being ashamed. I’m only adding to the problem of the stigma. People who come from educated backgrounds can have illnesses and we need to normalize it and let people get the help they need. There should be no shame in needing treatment.
My therapist said to me the other day “People are offering you jobs when you need to be offered treatment.” And that is the life I live in. I feel so guilty for the privilege I have. But I also suffer greatly from a mental illness and we all deserve treatment. Mental illness and bipolar disorder does not discriminate from race, religion, class, ethnicity, gender, etc.
If you have any great documentaries or movies to recommend about bipolar, mental illness or just something uplifting please, let me know! I will watch.. with subtitles. Have a goodnight everyone xoxoxoxo.