About last night…

Friday night, went out for sushi with the boy before heading out to the bars to meet his college friends. As I walk out of the bar to get into the uber, I fall. I gashed my knee open and sprained my ankle. I remember zero.

He’s such a gem, he doctored me up once we got back to his place and I woke up with blood from my knee all over his sheets. We spent 2 hours in urgent care and I got 8 stitches, ugh. He thinks I’m a mess.

This is the problem, I need someone who’s going to need me less than I need them. I need someone to take care of me. And I’m scared I’m scaring him away because I’m unstable and out of control and a hot freaking mess.

I couldn’t stop apologizing, I mean how can you. I got 8 stitches in my knee and my ankle is the size of a watermelon. Yet, I’m still here contemplating going out tonight. Ugh mania. But I need to find a way to keep this boy in my life, he’s seen me at my worst and stayed by my side. Yes it’s only been a few weeks but I don’t know, something feels right.

So let’s see if I can actually “recover” and elevate and ice my ankle or if I’ll rally and end up with a wine glass in my hand at a bar tonight. The world is my oyster, hah.

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2 thoughts on “About last night…

  1. So first of all, speaking as a hot mess myself, you don’t appear as “bad” as you think. You’re too hard on yourself lady. Accidents happen…I didn’t see anything about that story that was your fault. Neither does he I bet. Try to relax and move slow…not sure how to explain this but it’s helped me a lot. You feel like a freak, you start to panic, so you ACT like a freak. (At least that’s my cycle). But…if you caught the negative self thought before you got to the panic, you’d chill a bit and feel more in control of yourself. Things are more organic that way too. You’re not hiding your real self you’re just getting your power back.
    Sounds like dude is a good guy tho. More advice you didn’t ask for (lol sorry)…don’t try to keep him. Don’t have that worry or thought. He will go if he wants to and you will find someone better. Or he’ll stay and you get to learn each other. But you can’t control his decisions and stuff just yourself. Trying to will only stress you out. So be your cool self! He liked you for a reason.
    Sorry if I overstep, just lookin out. Good luck! E.

    Like

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