I have a best friend who is my therapist via text. I mean I text her 20 times in a row about how I feel (including and not limited to my inner thoughts, paranoias, delusions, regrets, resentments, epiphanies, ideas and enlightening) and that may be an understatement. She is literally my sounding board and manic people don’t shut up. She never tells me to stop or that I’m annoying. She’s my lifesaver and without her I feel isolated and locked up.
But sometimes she doesn’t answer fast enough or she says something that I don’t agree with and it makes me feel agitated and frustrated. Which can trigger even more. So it’s like how do I deal with someone who supports me and loves me but sometimes I just can’t tolerate her reactions.
I know it all comes from worry. She’s materal towards me so she worries and I can’t receive the way she’s showing love and support in a way that I want it to be received in my distorted mind.
I can’t imagine how hard it is on her side to have someone like me always needing attention and support and love and comfort. So for now I’m going to try and give her space so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed by my episode. But it is hard to have any sort of relationship with bipolar disorder.