Life’s little unexpectancies 

December 2, 2014 I was probably manic, still in college, skipping class, abusing adderall, drinking til I puked in my bed, the usual.

December 2, 2015 I was released from an inpatient unit and put on lithium, stable and going into a partial hospitalization program. Things were looking very up for me.

December 2, 2016 I was fired from my first full time job which I blame my illness because I thought I was doing really well? Confusing but I’ll accept it and I did accept it in a gracious and thankful manner for having the opportunity to learn from my former place of employment.

I’m going to view this as a blessing and realize that it solidifies the help I need to get for my illness, not just today but to have the help structured and supported in place for the rest of my career and life. Bipolar isn’t just independent to one scenario like getting through a college course, it impacts all aspects of you, forever. Each day I learn more and more to accept my illness. I realize how much I was in denial and how real and diabilitatijg you can let it become. But we all have resources and we all have support, no matter your situation! 
Being fired, it may have felt like rock bottom for a second but I know that job wasn’t right for me and I know I will find a situation I’m most happy in. I will find the place I can thrive it and that will embrace my strengths despite my illness. I need to work and have a life in an environment I feel safe in. If anyone has tips on that, feel free to comment!

Today is a day to celebrate the ups and downs I’ve come so far. And tomorrow is a new day filled with opportunity for all of us. Here’s to the last month and let’s make it the best month of 2016! 
PS – considering on applying for disability and I would love to hear about your experience or thoughts on the process.

Much love always, xoxo  

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2 thoughts on “Life’s little unexpectancies 

  1. I try to make my approach about bipolar as – its all about education, management and working within my limits. The more I learn, the greater my knowledge and understanding, the better able I am to manage the illness within the limits of bipolar. Read and research regularly.

    Your quote mentions ‘failure’. When something bad happens (and I’ve gone through the x-amount-of-time depressed/crying/suicidal/feeling vulnerable) I try to say to myself – that was a LEARNING experience that will help me better manage bipolar in my life. I think you’re doing really well in managing your illness. Look how far you’ve come 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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